So as of yesterday I have been back on track in an effort to become a vegan. I am doing it for health reasons vs the ethical reasons. Perhaps if I was bothered by the slaughter of cattle and the such, it would be easier. The fact is, I LOVE beef. Nice and rare - and veal, well... bring it on! Chicken, yummy! Pork, tastefully delicious! You get it.

I have been a carnivore and now am back to being an herbivore only. Yay for the slaughtered and mangled zucchini that now resides in my tummy! Actually, I love how I feel when I don't consume any animal products but I have been so accustomed to eating flesh - greasy, salty and probably (usually) fried - that it's hard sometimes to maintain this way of eating. I had six weeks under my belt as of last Friday and then the flood gates opened. I visited every fast-food burger slut joint that I could think of and even changed my route based on where said fast-food would be. I mean, really out of my way - miles!

There's a reason they say, two steps forward, one step back... who says that anyway? So, I had about five steps back but I am now right where I had started when I decided to take that fork on the road. I feel like everyday is a fork on the road - no pun intended either. But everyday I am faced and actually contemplate forgetting what I am doing. Then I remember my son and my husband and the quality of life that I would like to have with them. One that is vibrant and active! I remember that my body is God's temple and I give Him no honor by making it a trash dump inside. That's inclusive of my thoughts and other things, not just my eating.

Today I saw a couple both elderly (early 60s - hardly elderly) but what aged them was the fact that he was in a Rovearound, while his wife was being tugged in a wheel chair behind him, by him. They rigged the device so that it looked like a tandem Rovearound - I had to do a double neck jerk on that one. I wasn't like "Oh my gaw, look at them..." it was more like "Gosh, that could be me if I don't change my lifestyle." Perhaps there are other underlying health issues but what was in their cart wasn't indicative of a nutritious eating habit. I don't know... I know I resist what I am doing everyday, though with every choice it also gets easier everyday.

So here I am - 20lbs less (since the last six weeks) really all done with nutritional changes, a lot of prayer for strength and determination. A weak moment (or four days to be exact) and the jolting reminder of what I want for myself.